Leadership is Anything but Soft

Soft to me is lightly falling feathers, a baby kitten and even, maybe, my hair on a good day.

But, never have I attached the word to taking risks, having hard conversations or being stressed. Yet, we continue to see the word be used as a descriptor for actions that are adventurous, difficult and challenging.

Last year, I mustered up the courage to go to Africa, by myself no less! Just days before I left, I had an emotional breakdown that had me calling my brother in a fit of panic, gasping for air and sobbing, “What have I done?” He gently reminded me that I was fully prepared and about to do something that many people only think about doing. He also gave me permission to cancel the trip and stay home. I pondered that for a few seconds. I couldn’t possibly cancel now; I had paid fully and besides, I had posted it on Facebook. The whole world would know, at least my whole world anyways. I boarded the plane 36 hours later.

My adventure travels were considered “soft adventures”, at least camping on the Serengeti was. Due to the elevation of Kilimanjaro, that hike enters a different classification. However, traveling to a foreign country alone and taking physical challenges is in no way “soft” in my books. The trip did not feel like light feathers or soft kittens. There was hard ground, bumpy roads and squat toilets. The adventure challenged me physically and emotionally, just as an adventure is supposed to. But soft? No way.

In the workplace, communication skills, team building, conversational abilities are often lumped into the “soft skills” category as well. Yet, it is these skills that make a leader’s job so difficult. They evoke panic and sweat at times. Delivering news of a layoff or a poor performance is not easy on anyone. Then, why do we call them “soft” skills? These are the behaviors that can derail careers and take down the mightiest of business leaders. This is the tough stuff.

By pure definition, adventure is something bold and uncertain, and usually involves some level of risk. What if we filled in between the lines and included physical and emotional risk with uncertainty? Then, maybe, we can view camping on the Serengeti and announcing layoffs similarly: both experiences come with some difficulty and require courage. Both of these “adventures” are not for the faint of heart.

I say, let’s rid the word “soft” entirely from the adventure travel classification. Leaving one’s home and venturing to a place off the beaten track is anything but “soft”.

Let’s also rid the word “soft” from the competencies of leaders and replace it with “professional” or “essential” skills. Let’s give these “hard” skills the descriptor they deserve.